I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
