Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
