You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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