He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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