Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
