Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
