Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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