My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
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