Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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