Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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