you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
