How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
