How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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