I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
