I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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