What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
