She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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