Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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