writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
