Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
