bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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