barbara walters just said penis...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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