I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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