You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
