So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
