i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
