I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize