I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
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Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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