well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
