i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
