I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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