dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
