David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
