while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
