i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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