ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
