I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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