Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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