sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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