We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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