Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first