Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
