I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
