WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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