My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
