She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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