So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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