I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
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I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
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well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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