I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
