it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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