But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
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My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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