so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
