he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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