So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize