I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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