They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
