I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
