Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
