Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
