I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
