Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
