pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
