I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
