I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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