so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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