Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
